Like really, God has brought me to a place of overflowing peace, joy, and anticipation for His plan.
Never would I ever have thought I would say "I'm not sure what the future holds, but I know it is going to be for good, and I can't wait to see it". Nope just a year ago, maybe even less than that, I would have been freaking out that I'm not sure exactly what my plan is. I used to have a planned out life and if something put a hiccup in that plan I would loose it. I would feel like my world was falling apart, like God left me and didn't care about my wants and dreams. I would get mad at Reed and say not so uplifting things to him.
But something has happened in this past year. I have learned to go to God with the plans and dreams. To include Him in these crazy ideas. To talk to HIM about it instead of only my closest friends. I would ask Him for advice, wisdom, peace, and for Him to lead me through it.
I think this all happened when I finally realized it was okay, it is a GOOD thing to take these thoughts to Him. As a dreamer I think I so often felt like my dreams were to big, bold, not realistic. So why should I be able to take them to God, he would think I was crazy! This realization came after a friend recommended the book The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. This book seriously changed how I speak to my heavenly father.
In the book Mark shares how having big dreams, bold prayers, and unrealistic plans is a way we can honor God. These things can allow our faith to grow in Him because we are no longer putting our worldly limitations on a God that is out of this world! God has a reality that is so different than ours, I mean would you ever say it was realistic for Him to raise his son from the dead? NO! That is crazy, we have no explanation other than GOD IS BIG!
God is sovereign, and as humans we can't pretend to know His plans. But we can ask him for direction on all things. We can ask for the desires he has laid on our hearts. Even if he doesn't give us that dream, learning to talk to him in a candid way like we would our earthly family and friends takes us to a newer deeper level. He wants us to confide all things in him, big or small, realistic or unrealistic. HE CAN DO ALL THINGS!
So, at this point in my life. In my marriage, my career, and my day dreams I don't know what the future looks like. But I know I can talk to my God about it all I want. I can share my crazy dream for a new home, or my thoughts about my art. I can ask Him for the desires of my heart and be confident that He knows me. He knows what is best, he knows our next step, he is going to direct me to the best place, and ultimately He has gone before me and anything I come against he has already directed my path.
So hiccups or not my dreams are in Gods hands!