Friday, July 12, 2013

Soul Settling

We have officially been York, SC residence for 3 weeks and 4 days. I've finished the kitchen {mostly, I still plan on painting the floor, getting a spice rack, and possibly refacing the cabinets. But those are all projects for down the road.} finished the living room {except covering our big chair} and bathroom. I've still got a LOT to do for the studio/guest room and mostly just cosmetic fun stuff in the bedroom. I promised Reed that I would try and mash our two styles better this time, at the tiny house I basically just hung my art and all my funky colors easily took over the house. Having the attic is helping a lot, because I don't feel like all of my stuff has to be up on a wall. We have the space to store it for later, ya know like this winter when I decide to redecorate :) 
Sunflower field on the Ranch 

So I realized that I've shared the house and how the make overs are happening but I haven't shared much about life in general. If you follow me on Instagram then you see pictures of the Farm/Ranch pretty often. It is stunning and I absolutely LOVE living some place that has such spectacular views. But unless you are one of my closest friends you probably haven't heard much else.

I realized on Wednesday that I've pretended to be settled in the house. I've had fun decorating, painting, and crafting like always but I haven't totally settled. This hit me when I forced myself to do a load of laundry (that wasn't sheets or towels) and unpack my clothes. Yep it had been 3 weeks and I was STILL not unpacked. I don't know what I have been doing. But I know I wasn't really settled.

I thought it may do me good to share why I feel that I haven't totally settled in my soul. 
Old Town, Rock Hill 

I think most of it has to do with what my future looks like. I'm a planner and I love planning. I like knowing what is coming next and that I'm gonna be busy for the next however long. But moving here I dropped all of that. I didn't have a plan, I don't have things I HAVE to do. I've learned that if I don't have set projects or goals for the day that I literally do nothing. Even when dishes are stacking up in the sink and I could easily wash every dish in the house 700 times in the day because thats how bored I am, I still do nothing. I'm not good at taking care of the house. Usually I have a clean house, and I cook dinner, and take showers, and do productive things. But I've found that if I don't have a reason  like a project, or class, or work to get up and do, that I don't DO anything. Right now I look around the house and I've pulled the back cushions off the sofa, dishes are all over the kitchen, all the floors need a good sweeping, and some how Reed and I have 10 dirty towels that haven't gotten washed all hanging on the bathroom door. I have lots to do but I can't force myself to do them. I need to but I don't.

After talking to a friend about this we decided that laziness strikes like a sly and sneaky snake. It sneaks up, I know I'm not doing anything and yeah thats lazy but I think laziness really becomes an issue when you KNOW and acknowledge you are just being lazy and STILL refuse to get up. I'm struggling, like seriously. The things I want to get up and do require money, and after the move we just don't have it in our budget for me to go out and buy all new curtains, or even fabric to make any! Its hard not having my creative juices flowing everyday just for a few hours. I watch HGTV and get so annoyed that I can't have that, not always the house but that job! I want to be able to redecorate, repurpose, and  be creative every day with some one else's stuff and money!

This has been the first time that my thankful instagram posts have been pretty forced. I'm glad I'm keeping it going but man I don't feel thankful like I should. We have been so blessed by this job. How many college graduates get there dream job that they could keep as a life long career 2 weeks after graduation? Not many, but Reed did. I'm so thankful, he has worked so hard to get to where he is and he loves it. He has worked odd jobs that he has enjoyed and some that he hasn't enjoyed. So having a job that is hard, challenging, and different everyday is everything he could have asked for. Then on top of the amazing job he has made friends with his boss, they eat lunch together almost everyday and have a cold beer together at the end of each day. I'm so glad that he has found a mentor and friend, its so unbelievable to know that we are taken care of and that the people WANT Reed here and will help us make that happen. 
 {I got to ride around with Reed one morning to count the cows,  it was a sweet time seeing what he does daily}
Not only have we been blessed by a dream job, but its a job that comes with a home. It may not be everything I ever dreamed but it is a home that I get to do as I please with AND not pay rent. Reed and I are going to be able to really practice saving and tithing in this stage of life and are so excited to see how we can learn from that for the future. Not paying rent not only allows us to save and tithe but gives me the chance to find what I want. I'm not pressured to find a job so we can live. Obviously more money is nice but at this point we aren't feeling the pressure that we are gonna miss rent or not be able to get groceries and gas. 
Our back yard 
The Front porch 

I want a job, I'm unhappy and have become lazy because I'm bored. 
I hate this. Not where we are, this is something I never could have even thought to ask for. Being blessed with time to be bored is unreal! Now I need to honor this blessing by making something of my time! I've got to learn how to be a better wife and clean the house and do the laundry and cook dinner even when I don't want to. I need to show Reed that I'm proud of him and that I support him working so hard every day and I can do that by making our house a home and someplace he wants to come home to and invite friends over. I can use this time to make more art! I've always wanted time to grow my blog and etsy store, and now that I'm blessed with time I need to do it! I need to better my body, not that I'm unhappy with it but if I get in the habit of taking better care of it with small little work outs and runs then later in the future I wont have to worry so much. And mostly I need to make a habit of spending time with the Lord each day. He is the one who has blessed us. He has taken care of us better than anyone ever could have. And by being lazy and bored I'm slapping him in the face, basically not being grateful for the blessing he has so generously given us.

I'm starting to get better, I'm forcing myself to do things through out the day. I hope I get busy soon and I pray that I can handle it when it happens. I'm thankful for everything we have and for the summer that has given me the chance to learn and grow already. Hopefully I will finish up some of the other projects around the house and share more with you soon. I'm thankful to have y'all hear to talk to, sorry if this was long and wasn't fun and creative like you were hoping :)

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