WARNING: this post may be a little heavy.
This is my heart tonight and hope it doesn't scare anyone away.
As of this past Tuesday Reed and I have been married for an entire month!
Big step I know!!
I was planning on posting something ooie gooie on Tuesday but refrained myself in order to give a real peak in to how I have been learning to be a wife.
IT'S HARD WORK!
Balancing school and work PLUS learning how to live with Reed, love on Reed, and help Reed the way God has told me too. It gets a bit overwhelming.
Often the feeling of being overwhelmed comes on the long school days where I leave Reed in the bed and don't see him again until he comes home from work at about 10pm that night.
It sounds so lame when I say it, but it really sucks not seeing him during the day.
By the time we are both home, he has homework, I'm exhausted and feel like I haven't had time to accomplish anything.
Today was one of those days.
I went to class at 8am, came home for a quick lunch at 11, did a few projects, went back to school for class at 2:30, got home at 5:15 and Reed was walking out the door to work.
I decided to go on a run (I've been making myself run lately just to fill the time with something that makes me feel good both mentally and physically).
Once I got home I started doing research for my senior show.
This is a downer in itself because there are so many things to consider.
What is my art saying?
What are the viewers taking away from it?
How do I convey my message?
Am I using humor or trying to stay on the more subtle end?
What artists should I reference or research?
SO MANY QUESTIONS!
And looking around right now I need to
clean the bathroom
do the dishes
rearrange the guest room
return some gifts
finish the thank you notes
go to the DMV
get a new passport
start a new commission piece
BOO REAL LIFE!
So, all that sounds pretty negative.
And I hate that.
MARRIAGE IS NOT A NEGATIVE THING!
Reed and I have so much fun!!
We have learned so many things about one another that I had know idea I didn't know!
We laugh ALL THE TIME.
We find time to watch at least 1 episode of something together every night.
We go out with friends on weekends.
We get to go to church every Sunday with family.
And the best part is
that every night we go to bed together and just get to enjoy the silent presents of each other.
(Cheesy but true).
So of course there is good and bad.
Balance is the key to life.
I don't think I will ever find the perfect balance between everything in my life.
But that is ok because God has already been perfect.
One of my favorite verses is one that I was introduced to my junior or senior year of high school.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
This verse is one I apply to everything.
It encourages me with school and the unknown of what I will be doing in the future (near or far).
It helps TONS when I freak out about finances.
I share it with family and friends constantly as a quick reminder of our perfect Lord and how he has already taken care of us and that we have no need to worry.
All of that to say.
I don't need to worry about being a perfect wife.
As long as I am pursuing Christ and Reed I can not go wrong.
I love both of these men so much.
I want to be the best helper to Reed I can.
That may not mean always having a good home cooked dinner, or freshly vacuumed floor.
As long as I am constantly encouraging him with words of affirmation and loving him to the best of my ability, our marriage will continue to grow in the Lord and stronger over time.
1 month is nothing bring on forever!