Tuesday, February 4, 2014

What am I doing with my life

Ugh life is hard! I graduated from Clemson University 9 months ago, we moved out to York, SC for my husbands job 8 months ago. We have a home, an income, running vehicles, and the best puppy that anyone could ask for. So really why in the world do I feel like my life is hard??

Part of the human flaw is that we feel entitled and prideful. We may not all see that in ourselves and name it as a characteristic to describe ourselves but we are. We are all prideful. I never noticed how prideful I was until we moved out here and I began the horrible struggle of trying to find a job. I felt like because I have my college degree that I should be able to get the job I want. I mean after all I did give 4 years of my life, graduated with a decent GPA, and paid lots to make that all happen. So why in the world is there no job for me?!

I've struggled with deciding what I want to do. I have my BFA (Bachelors of Fine Art) I'm a creative person who is interested in anything from interior design, wedding planning, to teaching. I've been looking off and on for jobs in any creative field. I've applied to a handful and never heard back. I even applied to Pier 1 and never heard back. That is when I saw how my pride was hurting me.

I realized that I felt like I could do this job search on my own. I was giving myself the glory for finishing school strong. I wasn't giving any credit to 1. my parents who helped pay for it and payed for most of my living while I was there or 2. the Creator and Provider of all things. God was receiving non of the glory that He deserved for giving me the ability to complete school with a high GPA, He gave my parents the opportunity to help me make my dreams of having a college degree come true. I gave Him some praise when Reed received his job, and for how easy it has been moving to a new town. But I was failing to give over my dreams for my future.

Jeremiah 29:10 says " I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for."  

GOD WANTS TO GIVE ME THE FUTURE I HOPE FOR! So what is wrong with me, why have I not given Him my hopes and dreams when all he wants to do with them is make them happen. Pride. Thats all I can say, I was proud of myself for finishing school. I was proud of my creative ability and felt like I deserved a good job. As I continue my job search, and the search of what my hopes and dreams are I realize that I am not qualified. Not just because I don't have the 2 years of experience, or the extra masters degree, but because I am a prideful human who has failed to give the Lord the praise and the chance to fulfill His plans for me.

From now on I want to give Him the chance to have all the glory. My battle cry when going out and job hunting will be "For The Lord!". Why do I want this job?? I want it for the Lord! I want to be able to use the talent and the degree HE has provided me for HIS glory, not my own.

I hope we can all live our lives this way. If we continue to trust in the Lord and give Him all the glory than there is no reason for us not to be able to defeat this Goliath of a problem in our lives, whether it is job hunting, house hunting, or just trying to make friends. God wants to fulfill our dreams, he wants to give us Hope and a Future!  

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